- International Marriage and Relationships
- Common Issues in Mixed Marriages
- Coping Strategies for Intercultural Marriage
An
international marriage is not always easy. Although love is proverbially blind,
those who are married to someone with a different cultural background know that
these kinds of relationships are particularly challenging.
Religious
and political differences, as well as language barriers can cause severe
conflicts for couples in an international marriage. But even seemingly trivial
points of discussion, such as your partner’s eating habits or how to celebrate
certain holidays , may result in arguments.
Common Issues in International Marriage
Of
course, the success of an expat marriage or relationship always depends on both
people involved. Some may simply be more capable of handling and resolving
conflicts than others.
However,
there are certain issues which reappear in almost every relationship with an
intercultural background or intercultural marriage. It is not just both
partners’ cultural expectations that are a challenge. The approval of their
respective families and friends and their desires are another factor which can
make or break a marriage.
Gender Roles
In
many cultures, women and men have made great steps towards equality, enjoying
the same basic rights and responsibilities. This also influences their role in
an international marriage or relationship. Often, both partners are
employed and share daily tasks, each of them taking responsibility for the
well-being of the other. However, some cultures adhere to a more traditional
concept when it comes to gender roles.
Liz
(28) experienced this when she entered into an international marriage and
followed her husband to Jaipur, India. Contemporary India is a large and mufti-faceted nation, where urban women in particular make their voices heard.
After all, Indira Gandhi was the world’s longest-serving prime minister, and
Indra Nooyi, a Chennai-born Indian and the CEO of Pepsi, is among the top 3 of
Forbes’ most powerful women in the world.
However,
Liz also found out that the older generation of northern India’s middle-classes
may still have different views when it comes to the roles of husband and wife.
Her husband had never expected her to be a traditional home-maker, but with his
family at the door step, things quickly got complicated.
The
situation caused many arguments between Liz and her husband Rajesh (31). “It’s
clichéd,” Liz says, “but I really don’t get along very well with my
mother-in-law. I suppose she’d have preferred him to marry a Desi girl. I
didn’t know all that much about Indian culture, to be honest, and now she keeps
voicing her disappointment. I wish I’d known more about his family before I
moved here.”